Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

Rule	Source
1. (a) Once you have their money, you never give it back.	Rom "The Nagus"
1. (b) If they ask for their money back, give it to them.	Rom, Quark "Prophet Motive"
3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.	Quark "The Maquis, Part II"
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.	Zek "The Nagus"
7. Keep your ears open.	Odo "In The Hands Of The Prophets"
8. (a) Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.	Vung "Warchild"
8. (b) Small print leads to large risk.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition page 6
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.	Nog "The Storyteller", Quark "Heart of the Warrior"
10. Greed is eternal.	Quark "Prophet Motive", Arridor, Koul "False Prophets"
10. (b) Greed is dead.	Rom "Prophet Motive"
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.	The Making of ST: DS9
16. A deal is a deal. ...until a better one comes along.	Quark "Melora" ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition
17. A contract is a contract is a contract--but only between Ferengi.	Quark, Brunt, Gint "Body Parts"
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.	Ben Sisko, Nog "Heart of Stone"
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.	Quark "Meridian"
21. (a) Never place friendship Quark before profit.	Quark "Rules Of Acquisition"
21. (b) Never place profit before friendship.	Rom "Prophet Motive"
22. (a) A wise man can hear profit in the wind.	Pel "Rules of Acquisition"
22. (b) Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever.	Rom "Prophet Motive"
23. Money can never replace dignity.	Rom "Prophet Motive"
27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 16
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.	Quark "The Siege"
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.	Quark, Pel "Rules Of Acquisition"
34. War is good for business.	Quark "Destiny"
35. Peace is good for business.	Dax "Destiny"
40. She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 24
41. Profit is its own reward.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 24
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 44
47. Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer than your own.	Quark "Rivals"
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.	Pel "Rules Of Acquisition"
52. Never ask when you can take.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 28
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum; treasure them.	Quark "Armageddon Game"
58. There is no substitute for success.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 30
59. Free advice is seldom cheap.	Quark "Rules Of Acquisition"
60. (a) Let's you and him fight.	Tunk "Balance Of Power"
60. (b) Keep your lies consistent.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 33
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.	Pel, Quark "Rules Of Acquisition"
65. (a) Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 36
65. (b) Huyperian beetle snuff may be fun for you and me, but it's no fun for the beetles.	Zek "Prophet Motive"
69. Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.	Tunk "Balance Of Power"
75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.	Quark "Civil Defense"
76. Every once in a while declare peace: It confuses the hell out of your enemies.	Quark "The Homecoming"
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 41
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 42
85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 43
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you; ask what you can do for your profits.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 89
94. Females and finances don't mix.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 46, Rom "Ferengi Love Songs"
95. Expand or die.	Kafar "False Profits"
97. Enough... is never enough.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 47
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 48
102. Nature decays, but latinum is forever.	Quark, Nog "The Jem'Hadar"
103. (a) Sleep can interfere with...	Pel "Rules Of Acquisition"
103. (b) Fill a desperate need with your most expensive product, then mark it up 500%.	Rom "The Heart Of The Warrior"
104. Faith moves mountains... of inventory.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 50
106. There is no honor in poverty.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 51
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.	Quark "Rivals"
111. Treat people in your debt like family--exploit them.	Ben Sisko "Past Tense, Part I", Worf "The Darkness And The Light"
112. Never have sex with the boss' sister.	Quark "Playing God"
113. Always have sex with the boss.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 56
117. You can't free a fish from water.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 57
121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 58
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 59
139. Wives serve. Brothers inherit.	Odo "Necessary Evil"
141. Only fools pay retail.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 61
144. There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 62
153. Sell the sizzle, not the steak.	Quark DS9 Comic #22
162. Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 63
177. Know your enemies...but do business with them always.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 64
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 65
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 66
190. Hear all, trust nothing.	Quark "A Call To Arms"
191. A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.	Tunk "Balance Of Power"
192. Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 67
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.	Quark "Whispers"
202. The justification of profit is profit.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 67
203. New customers are like razor-backed Greeworms; they can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back!	Rom "Little Green Men"
208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the question is an answer.	Zek "Ferengi Love Songs"
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success-- don't hesitate to step on them.	Grimp "Bar Association"
214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.	Quark "The Maquis, Part I"
216. Never gamble with an empath.	Quark "The Laertian Gamble"
217. You can't free a fish from water.	Quark "Past Tense, Part I"
218. (a) Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.	Quark DS9 Comic #12
218. (b) Always know what you're buying.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 71
219. Possession is ¹¹/₁₀ of the law.	Tunk "Balance Of Power"
223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 72
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 74
236. You can't buy fate.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 75
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.	Gint "Body Parts"
242. More is good... all is better.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 76
255. A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 77
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 78
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.	Rom "Bar Association"
266. When in doubt, lie.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 79
284. Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.	ST: DS9 The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition page 80
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.	Quark "The Collaborator"
285. A good deed is its own reward.	Rom "Prophet Motive"